Here’s your chance to be quiet while a football game is being played, eat institutionalized food and listen to cynical sportswriters gripe and complain for four hours.
Welcome to the press box, if you win an auction offered by Alabama’s athletic department.
Alabama, which is No. 2 in this week’s SEC Power Rankings, is offering four seats on press row for Alabama’s game — if you can call it a game — against Western Carolina on Nov. 22, complete with “pregame press materials” — AKA a dead rain forest of stats and notes — and the best part — a chance to “eat with the media in Bryant-Denny Stadium Press Room.”
That’s almost as awesome as an invitation to the White House.
Disclaimer: You better get a head start when the lunch bell rings because us sportswriter types tend to move fast when there’s free food.
Seriously, it’s an excellent opportunity for a diehard Alabama fan to meet legendary Alabama announcer Eli Gold and the rest of the Crimson Tide Sports Network Radio Crew: Tom Roberts, Chris Stewart, Phil Savage and Tyler Watts.
You better act quickly, though.
The auction ends at 9 p.m. Thursday. The bidding was at $400 as of 10:45 a.m. Tuesday, and there are $25 increments.
There’s no word on if the offer includes being scowled at by Nick Saban after the game.
Oh, one more thing, the “winning bidder must be an Alabama Crimson Tide fan.”
Does Harvey Updyke know about this?